Brian and I have spent quite a bit of time together this weekend and it’s been awesome. I have so much enjoyed going out and being able to serve our brothers and sisters in need on the streets. What a joy that is for me. Actually I think it’s more that the Lord has been letting me know that Brian needs to learn to let go of me a little more each time we go out and let me learn on my own. Brian is very protective of me and I know why. I’m his wife, of course he’s going to be protective of me, I have medical issues, MS with left side weakness, high blood pressure, my eyes go blurry, but when I’m serving and doing the Lords will, I’m strong and HE leads me to where he wants me to go and say what HE wants me to say. So I guess if we’re going to be living in the Northeast area, Brian’s going to have to learn that he can’t be with me 24/7. We’re going to be living in a place where the homeless and prostitutes are going to be able to come in, take a shower, wash their clothes, eat, take a nap, watch TV, etc. and I’ll be there too. He can’t keep me guarded all the time. Now our living quarters will be apart from where they will be able to hang out, but still. I just feel that the Lord is telling me that I need to talk to Brian to let him know that he needs to let go a little more than he normally does.
That’s only part of what I have. My son told me last weekend that of course for the Labor Day weekend he’d have a 3 day weekend and come see me. Well, I never heard a word from him. I wound up calling him around 5 in the evening on Monday. He never even thought anything about it. Here’s the thing that bugs me the most. He’s living at his best friends dad’s house in the basement cause Lenny lets him. Fine. Well, he seems to care for Lenny and Melissa more than his own parents. I don’t get phone calls, or text messages. I finally told him last night that if I didn’t get even a text message letting me know that he’s OK, I’m going to go sideways on his ass. He kind of laughed and said, “mom you’re so cute.” I wasn’t trying to be funny or cute, I was letting him know how worried I get when I don’t hear from him for days and days. It breaks my heart and it hurts me terribly. So needless to say while I was trying to eat, I was crying. Well that pissed my husband off so he called Lil’ Brian, our son, and said, “I just want you t0 know that your mother is very hurt that you don’t call or come by and while she’s trying to eat her dinner she’s crying.” LB said, “she was fine while I was talking to her.” BB said, “She doesn’t want you to hear her cry or hear her pain that you put her through, you know how strong of a woman your mother is, but she’s hurt and I just wanted you to know so you have a great night Brian, OK? Good night.” Then he hung up. I haven’t heard from him since. It’ll take him a few days to process. That’s how his brain works. He gets told something, and he doesn’t react right away, he has to process. It drives me nuts.
Well, that’s all I have to say for now.
Have a great day and God bless everyone!!!
