This weekend…

Well, this weekend ought to be good.  Today we’re just going to be relaxing all day, but tomorrow Brian has to work at his part-time job in the evening and I’m going to be going to a free Christian concert with one of my girlfriends from work.  I hate to go without my husband, but he said it would be just fine if I went with my friends.

Last night we went to Bessie’s house for Friday night movie night and served BBQ spare ribs, bread, chips, cheese,  and sushi.  It was a great night.  Loving on the homeless, prostitutes and gang bangers that we serve.   I enjoy my time with my guys and gals, especially when they call me Mama.  There’s one young man named Neil, he’s a senior in high school, that I just love to death, he’s like a son to me.  Every time he sees me he runs up to me first and just hugs me hard and tells me how much he loves me and misses me, then gives me a kiss on my cheek.  Puts a tear in my eye every time.  I think he just misses me telling him to pull his pants up.  Cause every time I tell him that he pulls them up and laughs.

Anyway, we talked to an interesting man last night.  His name is Sony and he’s been homeless since he’s been 13 and he’s now 36 years old.  He got put in the pen when he was 19 and was in for 10 years, didn’t ask him why it’s not my business.  2 years ago on Independence Avenue at a gas station, he was shot in the face and robbed basically for change.  But the coolest part about his story was that he knows Jesus and he finds the joy with his life everyday.  He said even though the right side of his face is paralyzed, his right eye is blind, and when he speaks, he drools he can still find joy in the life the God gave him, the second chance that the Lord blessed him with.  He speaks with such a passion, it brought goose bumps to my skin listening to him speak about his life and how much he loves Jesus.

People like Neil and Sony are who we serve in our Ministry.  There are more stories, but those are just 2 from last night that I wanted to share.  I love what we do and I wish I could be there full time doing this, but I do work a full-time job.  So I help out when I can.  Our web page is a little outdated, but you can check it out if you’d like: http://www.hope-outreach.org.

Well, I think that’s all for today, I have to go pick up my van and we have to go drop off some food.

God bless and take care.

How kind the LORD is! How good he is! So merciful, this God of ours! ~ Psalm 116:5, NLT

Whoa, it’s been forever….

Yep, I have not been around in quite a while.  Between work and the ministry, life has been just crazy busy.  But last night I did go get my grand-daughter and spend a few hours with her and enjoyed that time.  She just makes my heart soar!!!

Well, since I’ve been working I’ve been trying to watch what I’ve been eating and not following any diet plan.  I feel that if I follow a diet plan and fall off of it, I will fail.  So if I just do my own thing, I’ll do just fine and so far it’s working.  Brian has jumped on in the last 7 weeks also.  So we’ve cut out red meat, pork, and basically anything white.  We eat a lot of chicken, turkey, fish, and the nothing white is now whole grain/wheat.  I quite drinking milk, mainly because it made too much, not to sound gross, phlegm in my throat.  Now I drink Almond Breeze.  I’m going to also try Coconut milk.  Since I’ve been doing this I’m now down 63 lbs. and in the 7 weeks Brian’s been doing it, he’s down 27 lbs.  I still have a lot more to go, but I went to my Drs. about 3 weeks ago, and he said he’s very proud of the way I’ve been doing things.  I told him what I’ve been doing and what I’ve been eating and drinking, and he’s just ecstatic about it.  Especially since how heavy I was, he’s very proud.  I go back in June and I’m hoping to have quite a bit more off and also hoping to have him tell me that I can get off my high blood pressure medication.  That would be nice.

Today has been a pretty good day so far.  I’ve been in my little cubical working on my payables and receivables and while doing that I have all my music I like, mostly worship music, in my computer.  So I’ve been listening to it.  I enjoy doing that and just praising my Jesus for the glorious day and life that he’s given me.  Is my life perfect?  Not by a long shot, but I can find the positive in the negatives.  Here at work, I’ve had so many people tell me, ” you always have a smile on your face, what’s up with that?”  I tell them, “It’s because the Lord let me wake up another day.”  Then I just usually get a blank stare and I just smile and tell them to have a great and beautiful day too.

Take care everyone and have a great and beautiful day yourselves!!

I will be filled with joy because of you. I will sing praises to your name, O Most High. ~ Psalm 9:2, NLT

I’ve been really thinking…

Brian and I have spent quite a bit of time together this weekend and it’s been awesome.  I have so much enjoyed going out and being able to serve our brothers and sisters in need on the streets.  What a joy that is for me.  Actually I think it’s more that the Lord has been letting me know that Brian needs to learn to let go of me a little more each time we go out and let me learn on my own.  Brian is very protective of me and I know why.  I’m his wife, of course he’s going to be protective of me, I have medical issues, MS with left side weakness, high blood pressure, my eyes go blurry, but when I’m serving and doing the Lords will, I’m strong and HE leads me to where he wants me to go and say what HE wants me to say.  So I guess if we’re going to be living in the Northeast area, Brian’s going to have to learn that he can’t be with me 24/7.  We’re going to be living in a place where the homeless and prostitutes are going to be able to come in, take a shower, wash their clothes, eat, take a nap, watch TV, etc. and I’ll be there too.  He can’t keep me guarded all the time.  Now our living quarters will be apart from where they will be able to hang out, but still.  I just feel that the Lord is telling me that I need to talk to Brian to let him know that he needs to let go a little more than he normally does.

That’s only part of what I have.  My son told me last weekend that of course for the Labor Day weekend he’d have a 3 day weekend and come see me.  Well, I never heard a word from him.  I wound up calling him around 5 in the evening on Monday.  He never even thought anything about it.  Here’s the thing that bugs me the most.  He’s living at his best friends dad’s house in the basement cause Lenny lets him.  Fine.  Well, he seems to care for Lenny and Melissa more than his own parents.  I don’t get phone calls, or text messages.  I finally told him last night that if I didn’t get even a text message letting me know that he’s OK, I’m going to go sideways on his ass.  He kind of laughed and said, “mom you’re so cute.”  I wasn’t trying to be funny or cute, I was letting him know how worried I get when I don’t hear from him for days and days.  It breaks my heart and it hurts me terribly.  So needless to say while I was trying to eat, I was crying.  Well that pissed my husband off so he called Lil’ Brian, our son, and said, “I just want you t0 know that your mother is very hurt that you don’t call or come by and while she’s trying to eat her dinner she’s crying.” LB said, “she was fine while I was talking to her.” BB said, “She doesn’t want you to hear her cry or hear her pain that you put her through, you know how strong of a woman your mother is, but she’s hurt and I just wanted you to know so you have a great night Brian, OK? Good night.”  Then he hung up.  I haven’t heard from him since.  It’ll take him a few days to process.  That’s how his brain works.  He gets told something, and he doesn’t react right away, he has to process.  It drives me nuts.

Well, that’s all I have to say for now.

Have a great day and God bless everyone!!!

Selfish child…

I finally told my son that he is selfish and only thinks of himself.  He really pissed me off this weekend.  Not only was I pissed, but I was just down right hurt.  I really wanted to spend time with both my kids this holiday weekend and I asked him a couple of times, are we going to see you at all this holiday weekend?  His reply each time was “well, I don’t know.”  All I said was, “It’d be nice to spend some time with you since it seems we never get to see you any more.”  He said nothing.  So last night after he got home, I went to my room and folded the laundry.  He followed me and asked me what’s wrong.  Well, I let him have it.  Everytime he has a new girlfriend, which he’s been dating Kara for about 3 months now, he’s in his own world and has nothing, and I mean nothing to do with any of us, let alone even bring any of his girlfriends around us.  Personally I think he’s ashamed of us.  That just kills me inside.  I told him that when I don’t hear from him it scares me cause he’s so irresponsible.  I’m afraid I’m going to get a call or a cop show up at my door and tell me that my son’s dead.  I asked him if understood my feelings, he said yes, but I said do you really?  All I got was him staring at me.  I’m hoping what I said will sink into that thick skull of his.  Then he goes and stays with his old best friends parents.  I’m glad he likes them, but sorry Bud, I’m not going to allow you to have your girlfriend spend the night in the same bed under my roof and I won’t buy your alcohol.  They will.  That pisses me off.  I’ve asked them not to but why would they listen to me.  My son is a 20-year-old man.  If they let him drive drunk and get in a wreck, I’ll kill them.  Apparently, my son is the only one left of their son’s friends that actually talk to them.  Last night before I went to bed, I saw my son laying in the dining room area, in the dark, with his arm over his eyes, sniffing, so I hope what I said got to him.  He needs to realize how immature and selfish he’s been.  His dad and I have bent over backwards to help him out with letting him live with us in our one bedroom apartment, his dad helping him out with his finances to get him on his feet, helping him look for a new job, which a friend of our told us about a really good company that was hiring and he got a job there, so we’re letting him stay with us till his 60 days is up at his new job and he finds a place of his own.  He just doesn’t appreciate what he asked us to help him with and we’ve done. 

Sorry to rant, but I had to get it off my chest.  I know expressing it to him helped out a lot, but I needed to share it with others.  I guess my public announcement of how angry I am.

Although yesterday evening I did spend with my daughter.  We went to go see Eclipse.  I really enjoyed it a lot.  But then again, I love the Twilight series.  I’ve read all the books and now I can’t wait for Breaking Dawn to come out.  I wouldn’t mind reading the Short Life of Bree Tanner.  But I really wish that Stephenie Meyer would come up with more in the series.  She is a good writer and I really like her writing style.

Anyway, I better get back to the non-ringing lines here at work.  We have about 42 people here at work and there are probably about 15 people here.

Have a blessed day.

What a great weekend…

Well, first off of course I had a great day on Saturday with Miss Isabelle.  How could I not.  She’s the light of my life.  I love spending time with her.  She’s growing like a weed, and pulling herself up on everything.  Now she’s trying to get the whole walking around things down.  It’s fun watching her figure it out, but it makes me sad when she bonks her head, or smacks her mouth on the table, but I guess she has to learn some how.

Then on Sunday, wow what a day that was.  Brian and I headed out to Bessie’s House around 8:30 to be there by 9:00 am.  It was so great for me to be there for the first time.  Bessie’s is a place for homeless and prostitutes to come in and take a shower, wash clothes, get some food, etc.  Anyway, on Sundays they have their own Sunday service outside praising Jesus, they get fed, then Bessie’s House closes down for the day.  But I totally enjoyed the day serving and listening to the service and just being welcomed with open arms by everyone that knows Brian and finally got to meet me for the first time they showed me love the way Christ loved the church.  It was Amazing.  I’m going to go with Brian every Sunday to help serve.  I really enjoyed myself and felt at home there.  Just seeing a difference from there to where we worship is crazy.  Don’t get me wrong, there’s nothing wrong with where we worship, but the difference is in the people and how they see Jesus.  People on the streets depend on Him more than people who have safety in their lives of living in homes and always having food in their bellies.  They just seem to know Jesus more.

So be strong and courageous! Do not be afraid and do not panic before them. For the Lord your God will personally go ahead of you. He will neither fail you nor abandon you. Deuteronomy 31:6

So much on my mind…

Here recently I’ve been wondering about my weight with my MS.  I know that my weight is a big issue, I mean BIG!!!  Ge’ez, I’m BIG, B-I-G!!!  So anyway, I’m looking into Lap Band Surgery.  I’m going to go to a seminar on it in July to see what it’s all about.  There’s a possibility that my insurance could cover up to 100%.  I mean when you go through the list, I’m pre-diabetic, I have high blood pressure, my BMI is over 35, I’ve been over weight (or should I say obese) for at least 5 years, you have to be at least 18 (well I’m 40 so I think I qualify for that), your series of weight loss attempts have been short-term (yep, I qualify for that too).  I have to do something so I’m going to talk to my Dr. about it on Tuesday when I go in.  We’ve been talking about my weight anyway so it maybe something he might approve of.  Maybe he’d even write a letter of recommendation to the insurance company stating that it’s a necessity for my health with my MS and all.

Anyway, that’s the crap going on in my head these last couple days.  But my poor husband has had a stupid summer cold.  Now my daughter is getting it and if I get it again, I’m really going to be pissed at someone.  I can’t afford to be sick again.  I don’t take time off work.  The only time I do is to leave early for my Dr. appointments.  I accrue 2.3 hours each pay period and after next Tuesday I’ll only have 8.7 hours available.  I’m not wasting those.  So anyway, I have to keep myself healthy.  But an update on my MS meds.  I did get the authorization from my insurance company to go with the Copaxone, but I haven’t heard from my Neurologists office yet on when I’ll be starting it or what.  But I’m feeling fine since I haven’t been taking anything.  That Avonex was some Bad A$$ stuff!!!  YUCK!!!

Well, I better go and sit here at my desk and answer the phones.  Take care & God bless.

Got a call back yesterday…

Well, I got a call back from my Neurologists office yesterday about my Avonex.  I guess hearing me cry about it and hearing the pain in my voice got them to decide to change my treatment.  So anyway they’re getting authorization from my insurance company and then I’ll be starting Copaxone.  It’s an everyday shot, but it apparently doesn’t have the side effects that Avonex has.  Do I want to do a shot everyday?  No, but I will if it will make me feel better.  Believe it or not, I think my body knows it’s Friday cause it’s tensing up dreading what normally happens tonight.  Well, I’m not going to take my last shot, it’s going in the garbage.  BYE, BYE AVONEX!!!  Good riddance!!!

I went to my regular Dr the other day and my blood pressure was really high for me.  I have always ran normal.  Always in the 120/80 range.  Not Wednesday.  It was 168/102.  So needless to say they put me on a HCTZ which is also a diuretic.  Yea me, I’ll be peeing a lot!!!  LOL  Anyway, I let him know that I was going to stop my Avonex and he thought it was a smart idea.  I just gave him a look and said ‘really’?  He said yea.  He said he felt that I should know my body and if it made me feel bad and I hurt with it, then it wasn’t the right “treatment” for me.

So this weekend will be fun.  I have Isabelle tomorrow and she’s going to the dentist with me.  The girls there will be enjoying that.  They always loved it when the kids were little and they got to play with them at that time, now they get to play with the grand baby.  They still can’t believe that Amanda has a baby.  Jeez, I can’t believe Amanda has a baby.  LOL.  But anyway, it’s never too early to take them to the dentist and show them what it’s like.  Get them socially involved with them.  So, after the dentist, I’m meeting up with a girlfriend and her kids and going to take pictures of the kids for her.  I guess it’ll be one way for me to get my name out there and hopefully get some business for photography and make a little cash on the side.  🙂 

Well, better get back to work.  Take care and God bless y’all!!!

Together, we are his house, built on the foundation of the apostles and the prophets. And the cornerstone is Christ Jesus himself  ~Ephesians 2:20

Letter to my Neurologist…

I actually sent my Neurologist an email and let her know that I’m not going to take my Avonex any longer.  I have one more dose left for this Friday evening, but after that, no more.  I mean it.  I can’t handle it any longer.  I’ve been taking this stuff since February 2009 and this crap drives me insane, literally.  I have 4 spots on my body that I can give myself this injection.  Each in my upper thighs and in my upper arms.  It is an intramuscular injection.  The needle is 1 1/4″ long.  Yep, it’s a long sucker!!!  Anyway, usually by 2 am I’m shaking and shivering so badly from having the chills that my husband says it feels like I’m convulsing.  It makes my body hurt from my muscles tightening.  I let her know that I’d be more than happy to try something different and that doesn’t make me feel like complete crap.  When I get up on Saturdays, I have such a splitting headache that it’s debilitating.  I watch Isabelle in Saturdays and I want to be totally alert for her and want to be able to play with her 100%.  Is that too much to ask for?

Anyway, our weekend was great.  We had a bbq with the kids and I’ll share a few pictures with that.  We had Isabelle swinging in her swing in the back yard at my in laws house and she just loves that.  My son finally got his girlfriend Kara over, Amanda and Brandon enjoyed their time there too.  After a while, Brian and Kara went to her family’s house.  Then Amanda, Brandon & Isabelle left too.  But when they left, we wound up getting a phone call from them telling us they got pulled over by a cop in Claycomo, and told them it was for, get this, ‘Racial Profiling’!!! WHAT THE HECK IS THAT ALL ABOUT!?!?!?  Believe it or not, it was a black cop that pulled them over and told them that.  He said that they can pull over just as many white people over as black people.  Well needless to say, that pissed my husband off so we went to the police station and talked to the officer in charge.  He gave us some papers to file a complaint and said that if that is what he actually said to the kids, there would be a full investigation and action would be taken against the officer that pulled the kids over.  Each car is equip with audio and video, so if it did happen that way, that officer is screwed big time.  I couldn’t believe it.  My husband drove through Claycomo about 6 to 8 times praying that he would get pulled over by this cop for that. 

Anyway, I better get back to work.  Much love to all and God bless.

I was glad when they said to me, “Let us go to the house of the Lord.” ~ Psalm 122:1

 

Isabelle Swinging

Amanda & Brandon

Brian & Kara

  

You’re not shaken…

This song by Phil Stacey (You’re not shaken) has been stuck in my head all morning and I had to share it with you.  I’m sure if you haven’t heard the song you can find it on youtube.com, but while I’m here at work, I can’t get streaming media so I can’t post it for you.  But I have attached the lyrics below for you.  Needless to say, I have been trying to get in the word of God all morning long like I do every morning, and this song just keeps popping in my head and I just can’t concentrate.  What is up with that?  I guess while I’m at lunch, I’ll be listening to it over and over so I can try to get it out of my head.

 

I am sinking in the river that is raging
I am drowning
Will I ever, rise to breathe again
I wanna know why
I just wanna understand
Will I ever know why?
How could this be from Your hand?

/Chorus/

When every little thing that I have dreamed would be just slips away like water through my hands
And when it seems the walls of my beliefs are crashing down like they’re all made of sand
I won’t, let go of You now
because I know, oh, You’re not shaken

I am trembling in the darkness of my own fear
All the questions with no answers
So grip me while I’m here
And I may never know why
Oh I may not understand
But I will lift up my eyes,
and trust this is Your plan

/Chorus/

When I am in the valley
of the shadow of death

You’re not shaken
You’re not shaken

You’re right here beside me and
You have never left

You’re not shaken
You’re not shaken

 

Hope y’all have a great and blessed day, weekend and holiday.  Not sure if I’ll be back on or not at this point until after the Holiday.  Talk to everyone soon.

 

Let me hear of your unfailing love each morning, for I am trusting you. Show me where to walk, for I give myself to you. ~ Psalms 143:8

 

Romans 3:21-31

God Has Set Things Right

 ^21-24But in our time something new has been added. What Moses and the prophets witnessed to all those years has happened. The God-setting-things-right that we read about has become Jesus-setting-things-right for us. And not only for us, but for everyone who believes in him. For there is no difference between us and them in this. Since we’ve compiled this long and sorry record as sinners (both us and them) and proved that we are utterly incapable of living the glorious lives God wills for us, God did it for us. Out of sheer generosity he put us in right standing with himself. A pure gift. He got us out of the mess we’re in and restored us to where he always wanted us to be. And he did it by means of Jesus Christ.

 ^25-26God sacrificed Jesus on the altar of the world to clear that world of sin. Having faith in him sets us in the clear. God decided on this course of action in full view of the public—to set the world in the clear with himself through the sacrifice of Jesus, finally taking care of the sins he had so patiently endured. This is not only clear, but it’s now—this is current history! God sets things right. He also makes it possible for us to live in his rightness.

 ^27-28So where does that leave our proud Jewish insider claims and counter-claims? Canceled? Yes, canceled. What we’ve learned is this: God does not respond to what we do; we respond to what God does. We’ve finally figured it out. Our lives get in step with God and all others by letting him set the pace, not by proudly or anxiously trying to run the parade.

 ^29-30And where does that leave our proud Jewish claim of having a corner on God? Also canceled. God is the God of outsider non-Jews as well as insider Jews. How could it be otherwise since there is only one God? God sets right all who welcome his action and enter into it, both those who follow our religious system and those who have never heard of our religion.

 ³¹But by shifting our focus from what we do to what God does, don’t we cancel out all our careful keeping of the rules and ways God commanded? Not at all. What happens, in fact, is that by putting that entire way of life in its proper place, we confirm it.

It’s blowing my mind reading this.  Some times it’s just hard to fathom how HUGE he is that he did put things right through Jesus.  Think about it, He sent His son to die for us on a Cross for our sins, the sins of the world.  That’s HUGE!!!  It’s totally indescribable.  It’s mind-boggling.  

Have a great and blessed day.